Ho'okahi makamaka o ka aloha - Our love begins the union of our life together
Supportive and intimate relationships can take many forms. It takes time, commitment to the relationship and hard work from each person to create a healthy and strong relationship. What brought you together? What is keeping you together? What is tearing you apart from each other?
“Converting a complaint into a positive need requires a mental transformation from what is wrong with one’s partner to what one’s partner can do that would work. It may be helpful here to review my belief that within every negative feeling there is a longing, a wish, and, because of that, there is a recipe for success. It is the speaker’s job to discover that recipe. The speaker is really saying “Here’s what I feel, and here’s what I need from you.” Or, in processing a negative event that has already happened, the speaker is saying, “Here’s what I felt, and here’s what I needed from you.”
― John M. Gottman, The Science of Trust: Emotional Attunement for Couples
You are in each other's care. With compassion and empathy, I help you to strengthen and build a more secure relationship so that your relationship can once again be loving, trustworthy and fulfilling.
Some of the issues that I work with include;
"The needs of the relationship come first. Let's look for a solution that allow both of us to win." Dr. Stan Tatkin
“Once you understand this, you will be ready to accept one of the most surprising truths about marriage: Most marital arguments cannot be resolved. Couples spend year after year trying to change each other’s mind—but it can’t be done. This is because most of their disagreements are rooted in fundamental differences of lifestyle, personality, or values. By fighting over these differences, all they succeed in doing is wasting their time and harming their marriage.”
― John M. Gottman, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
I look forward to hearing from you.